Here's the post:
If cancer were a person I would personally kill him or her without thinking twice. If cancer were a
person I am pretty sure he or she would be far more hated than any villain,or any other criminal, political leader,or stupid politician, bad agenda, stupid comment, political issue, religious dispute or difference, ex boyfriend all rolled into one. Far more hated and far more fulfilling a topic than all the chick fa lay nonsense.I would personally trash it with all I had without thinking twice and without considering consequences. I wish with all my heart I could fight this instead of my sweet Matthew man, but right now when Matthew seems to be doing alright our world is crumbling around us. If For one second you think someone's opinion that differs from yours deserves a slap in the face then times that frustration anger and obsession by a million. Cancer didn't ask my opinion when it took Timothy or Brian. It didn't care what my religious or anyone else's religious background was when it attacked their loved one and stole precious time from them. It never considered the pain and suffering it caused as it slowly or quickly turns its victim into something so far physically from their original state that in some cases they are completely irreconcilable before it finally takes them for good. Never does it consider feelings or where you spend your money or how use use your spare time, when it settles on you you only wish you still had a choice. Doesn't cater to a fear of needles or a week stomache when it pushes you to the limits each day as you and the docs do all you possibly can to kill it off or hold it at bay. Truly doesn't give a crap about the families it splits up, it's unbiased and never apologetic for what it does. If cancer was a person I do not think I could forgive he or she for all the pain they cause and for the havoc it has wreaked on so many I love. So yesterday when a beautiful 14 yr old girl posted that while she has been fighting neuroblastoma for the last 5 yrs she has now developed a secondary cancer due to countless numbers of treatment so she is now actively fighting neuroblastoma and is now in the beginning stages of leukemia as well. She after five yrs at fourteen yrs old has decided she is done fighting this off. Just one more beautiful person the World will need to morn the loss of. Just one more talented beautiful intelligent hard working incredible person who will not get the chance to make so so many depictions nor have the luxury of living a life full of depictions she got to make.....be them good or bad she decisions she doesn't have that option. Then today when my heart was broken more than it has ever been before when I get a message that my sweet buddy JR ismatbthe end of his fight. One of the most if not the most cherished and loved people who has inspired many, set an amazing example, and has a been a beakon of light life and hope for anyone who meets him. He was a big brother to Matthew and like another son to me. Got diagnosed on Christmas eve and I was there with Matthew getting round two of chemo. About a month or so later he lost his arm....did this 13 yr old t the time ever complain? Not to me, not that I heard of. He was mature beyond belief and took it all in stride. He fought hard and gained the love and respect of anyone who was blessed to meet him. Today he found out he has multiple rumors in his head and the mets in his lungs have tripled in size and there is nothing left for them to do. The Worl is losing all the good ones, this boy is and will always be a beakon of phenomenal strength and light and the world needs more like him. Pretty sure cancer is Satan's way of taking the choice spirits from us and Heavenly Fathers way of prompting those of us slackers to rise up grow up and make the right decisions. Be honest, be trustworthy, be real, stand for what is right, be ethical, considerate, hard working and kind. Love one another and make the choices that would make a person who's life was cut short proud to know you used your choices freedoms and abilities for the greater good and not for selfish gain, stupid recreation and self promotion. Be what Talia could have been if she weren't robbed of her precious life. Be the Man I know JR would be if cancer didn't steel what was rightfully his to share with the rest of us. Be that sweet amazing kind loving funny and intelligent man that Timothy would have been. Be what God would have you be, be like these amazing sweet heros that are being stolen from us but who would have brought the world so much light and so much closer to God because of the people I saw them be through a trial more unbelievably horrendous than I could ever describe with my ill placed words. I want more from life, and I want more for these amazing kids who are truly people that would have made this world better. If cancer was a person I just don't know that I would have it in me to forgive it, but for everything else....everything else is a choice someone made, being attended is a choice as well. But getting your life stolen by cancer was never a choice any one of these people or sweet kids whose life was ripped apart,whose family was ripped apart, made. If only it were a choice, and reflected as a consequence then maybe the rest of us would be less selfish, more coherent of our own choices and more willing to rise to the challenge of becoming something great even if that means becoming something great in the realms that the world would be disappointed but the Lord would be thrilled with. Can't please both.....can't serve two masters. Choose God or choose to please the World. I choose God, he is the only one who can comfort me through this trial, he is the only one that can give my heart peace. He is the only one who can ease the pain. Relying on anything else will only bring temporary comfort, fleeting and shallow. Choose to be great because you can, choose to be great for all those who no longer have the choice. I can only imagine these ramblings are all over the place but I cannot compose myself enough to think clearly to describe the pure broken hearted feeling I have in loosing these incredible people from this life. Loosing the kind of people the World needs more of and not knowing if we will learn to be better for the loss of them or learn to hate and be angry because of the loss of them. So for Timothy coan, Emily del vechio, tyrese, Brian, Talia, and my sweet sweet buddy JR I wish I could punch cancer in the face for you, I wish I could have taken this all away. I am beyond grateful I was blessed to get you in my life and I will forever hurt for the loss of the world will know because you will no longer be here. I know the Lord has a plan, I know the Lord loves each of these sweet kids I was able to meet and love, and I know that they are each remarkable irreplaceable beakons of what a blessing each day is. What a blessing it is to be able to make choices, make mistakes, and forgive, and love and learn. This is just a small window into how devastating scan week can be. Hopefully Matthew's yields good news and hopefully all these families having to endure so much pain can find peace and feel Gods love. I love you JR and I hold you close to my heart with so much love and respect, and gratitude for getting to be a part of you life. We love you buddy and will be here for you.
person I am pretty sure he or she would be far more hated than any villain,or any other criminal, political leader,or stupid politician, bad agenda, stupid comment, political issue, religious dispute or difference, ex boyfriend all rolled into one. Far more hated and far more fulfilling a topic than all the chick fa lay nonsense.I would personally trash it with all I had without thinking twice and without considering consequences. I wish with all my heart I could fight this instead of my sweet Matthew man, but right now when Matthew seems to be doing alright our world is crumbling around us. If For one second you think someone's opinion that differs from yours deserves a slap in the face then times that frustration anger and obsession by a million. Cancer didn't ask my opinion when it took Timothy or Brian. It didn't care what my religious or anyone else's religious background was when it attacked their loved one and stole precious time from them. It never considered the pain and suffering it caused as it slowly or quickly turns its victim into something so far physically from their original state that in some cases they are completely irreconcilable before it finally takes them for good. Never does it consider feelings or where you spend your money or how use use your spare time, when it settles on you you only wish you still had a choice. Doesn't cater to a fear of needles or a week stomache when it pushes you to the limits each day as you and the docs do all you possibly can to kill it off or hold it at bay. Truly doesn't give a crap about the families it splits up, it's unbiased and never apologetic for what it does. If cancer was a person I do not think I could forgive he or she for all the pain they cause and for the havoc it has wreaked on so many I love. So yesterday when a beautiful 14 yr old girl posted that while she has been fighting neuroblastoma for the last 5 yrs she has now developed a secondary cancer due to countless numbers of treatment so she is now actively fighting neuroblastoma and is now in the beginning stages of leukemia as well. She after five yrs at fourteen yrs old has decided she is done fighting this off. Just one more beautiful person the World will need to morn the loss of. Just one more talented beautiful intelligent hard working incredible person who will not get the chance to make so so many depictions nor have the luxury of living a life full of depictions she got to make.....be them good or bad she decisions she doesn't have that option. Then today when my heart was broken more than it has ever been before when I get a message that my sweet buddy JR ismatbthe end of his fight. One of the most if not the most cherished and loved people who has inspired many, set an amazing example, and has a been a beakon of light life and hope for anyone who meets him. He was a big brother to Matthew and like another son to me. Got diagnosed on Christmas eve and I was there with Matthew getting round two of chemo. About a month or so later he lost his arm....did this 13 yr old t the time ever complain? Not to me, not that I heard of. He was mature beyond belief and took it all in stride. He fought hard and gained the love and respect of anyone who was blessed to meet him. Today he found out he has multiple rumors in his head and the mets in his lungs have tripled in size and there is nothing left for them to do. The Worl is losing all the good ones, this boy is and will always be a beakon of phenomenal strength and light and the world needs more like him. Pretty sure cancer is Satan's way of taking the choice spirits from us and Heavenly Fathers way of prompting those of us slackers to rise up grow up and make the right decisions. Be honest, be trustworthy, be real, stand for what is right, be ethical, considerate, hard working and kind. Love one another and make the choices that would make a person who's life was cut short proud to know you used your choices freedoms and abilities for the greater good and not for selfish gain, stupid recreation and self promotion. Be what Talia could have been if she weren't robbed of her precious life. Be the Man I know JR would be if cancer didn't steel what was rightfully his to share with the rest of us. Be that sweet amazing kind loving funny and intelligent man that Timothy would have been. Be what God would have you be, be like these amazing sweet heros that are being stolen from us but who would have brought the world so much light and so much closer to God because of the people I saw them be through a trial more unbelievably horrendous than I could ever describe with my ill placed words. I want more from life, and I want more for these amazing kids who are truly people that would have made this world better. If cancer was a person I just don't know that I would have it in me to forgive it, but for everything else....everything else is a choice someone made, being attended is a choice as well. But getting your life stolen by cancer was never a choice any one of these people or sweet kids whose life was ripped apart,whose family was ripped apart, made. If only it were a choice, and reflected as a consequence then maybe the rest of us would be less selfish, more coherent of our own choices and more willing to rise to the challenge of becoming something great even if that means becoming something great in the realms that the world would be disappointed but the Lord would be thrilled with. Can't please both.....can't serve two masters. Choose God or choose to please the World. I choose God, he is the only one who can comfort me through this trial, he is the only one that can give my heart peace. He is the only one who can ease the pain. Relying on anything else will only bring temporary comfort, fleeting and shallow. Choose to be great because you can, choose to be great for all those who no longer have the choice. I can only imagine these ramblings are all over the place but I cannot compose myself enough to think clearly to describe the pure broken hearted feeling I have in loosing these incredible people from this life. Loosing the kind of people the World needs more of and not knowing if we will learn to be better for the loss of them or learn to hate and be angry because of the loss of them. So for Timothy coan, Emily del vechio, tyrese, Brian, Talia, and my sweet sweet buddy JR I wish I could punch cancer in the face for you, I wish I could have taken this all away. I am beyond grateful I was blessed to get you in my life and I will forever hurt for the loss of the world will know because you will no longer be here. I know the Lord has a plan, I know the Lord loves each of these sweet kids I was able to meet and love, and I know that they are each remarkable irreplaceable beakons of what a blessing each day is. What a blessing it is to be able to make choices, make mistakes, and forgive, and love and learn. This is just a small window into how devastating scan week can be. Hopefully Matthew's yields good news and hopefully all these families having to endure so much pain can find peace and feel Gods love. I love you JR and I hold you close to my heart with so much love and respect, and gratitude for getting to be a part of you life. We love you buddy and will be here for you.
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