Birthdays

Today is my nephew, Kee, birthday. And it's the start of our 'birthday season'. There's a couple of people in the 'family' that will have to celebrate their half-birthdays to be included in the birthday season!! Our birthday season is like the football season. They start and end about the same time!! Crazy, huh?
Anyway, I have another nephew who's birthday is also today. He is 4 years older than Kee!! I found that out last year when his mom posted his b-day on Facebook. So HaPpY BiRtHdAy to both Kee and Delmer!!
Well, it's been hot around here and really makes the days just plain ol' lazy. Maybe I am just getting old, I don't know. Anyway, not much is going on.
There are things going on but that's usually what goes on. Yeah, not making any sense. I found out that my friend, Lisa, was traveling with her family to Idaho, or maybe it's Utah. I don't know. But they got in a car accident in Utah, and her mother was killed. How sad is that! They were taking her back home. I am sure they planned it before it was time for the boys to go back to school. I heard that Josh was in the hospital and not sure if he still is. Around that time my other friend in New York passed on some bad news about kids with cancer. Her son is suffering from that. It's just been too much to deal with, even though it's not affecting me directly, if you know what I mean. Then there's the family members who do dumb things. Little do they know they are not only hurting themselves, they are hurting a whole lot of people. If they see the connection, they will see how many people are being affected by their stupidity. And if they don't want to be called that, then they need to straighten up and clean up their act. Little do they know they could be much happier if they would only choose the right. It's not that hard. Well, maybe it is if they only see the easy way out. Little do they know that if they choose the right, even though it's hard, they will find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Life wasn't meant to be easy. We're suppose to prove ourselves through the rough times. Prove that we can get through it.
My days seem to be lost. I just get so confused on the days lately and trying to get out of this funk. Trying really hard to find a job but when no one seems to be interested in me, well, it's really hard. If they would only give me a try, they will know how super duper I am. Really, I am really good at a lot of things. Maybe I ought to just start up something on my own. Is that what I am suppose to? I don't know. But I am looking into things, reading up on things and trying to decide where I should start. Hopefully it'll be something that won't cost much money as I don't have that.
No money, no phone. I don't have my phone and probably won't for quite some time now. But I guess that's ok. Won't be missing anyone calling me. Oh, yeah, that's because no one calls me!! No big deal there. Yeah, I have no friends, which is fine with me.
Going to watch a funny movie to brighten up the day!!

Something To Share

This is something from a friend that I thought is worth sharing. She has a 4 year old dealing with cancer. That's something that I wish we could all understand. Why does it have to affect young children. I wish that Elissa could have her life back before this hit them but she's such an inspiration with the things she has to say dealing with this. I don't think I could be as strong as her. I love to read her posts and see that my life isn't as bad as I think it is. Especially when the times come when it seems that I'm at a dead end. I wish I could fix things for my family so they don't have to suffer more than they are now. But it's up to each of us to fix that. They can't just rely upon others to fix their problems. I say that we all have choices to make and if we choose the one that's going to take the scenic route then we deal with it ourselves. But if we listened to our elders in what life is all about, our road wouldn't be as rocky. Make the right choices and don't take the easy way out (that's that long, rocky, scenic route (not worth taking, as there's not much good scenery)).
Here's the post:

If cancer were a person I would personally kill him or her without thinking twice. If cancer were a
person I am pretty sure he or she would be far more hated than any villain,or any other criminal, political leader,or stupid politician, bad agenda, stupid comment, political issue, religious dispute or difference, ex boyfriend all rolled into one. Far more hated and far more fulfilling a topic than all the chick fa lay nonsense.I would personally trash it with all I had without thinking twice and without considering consequences. I wish with all my heart I could fight this instead of my sweet Matthew man, but right now when Matthew seems to be doing alright our world is crumbling around us. If For one second you think someone's opinion that differs from yours deserves a slap in the face then times that frustration anger and obsession by a million. Cancer didn't ask my opinion when it took Timothy or Brian. It didn't care what my religious or anyone else's religious background was when it attacked their loved one and stole precious time from them. It never considered the pain and suffering it caused as it slowly or quickly turns its victim into something so far physically from their original state that in some cases they are completely irreconcilable before it finally takes them for good. Never does it consider feelings or where you spend your money or how use use your spare time, when it settles on you you only wish you still had a choice. Doesn't cater to a fear of needles or a week stomache when it pushes you to the limits each day as you and the docs do all you possibly can to kill it off or hold it at bay. Truly doesn't give a crap about the families it splits up, it's unbiased and never apologetic for what it does. If cancer was a person I do not think I could forgive he or she for all the pain they cause and for the havoc it has wreaked on so many I love. So yesterday when a beautiful 14 yr old girl posted that while she has been fighting neuroblastoma for the last 5 yrs she has now developed a secondary cancer due to countless numbers of treatment so she is now actively fighting neuroblastoma and is now in the beginning stages of leukemia as well. She after five yrs at fourteen yrs old has decided she is done fighting this off. Just one more beautiful person the World will need to morn the loss of. Just one more talented beautiful intelligent hard working incredible person who will not get the chance to make so so many depictions nor have the luxury of living a life full of depictions she got to make.....be them good or bad she decisions she doesn't have that option. Then today when my heart was broken more than it has ever been before when I get a message that my sweet buddy JR ismatbthe end of his fight. One of the most if not the most cherished and loved people who has inspired many, set an amazing example, and has a been a beakon of light life and hope for anyone who meets him. He was a big brother to Matthew and like another son to me. Got diagnosed on Christmas eve and I was there with Matthew getting round two of chemo. About a month or so later he lost his arm....did this 13 yr old t the time ever complain? Not to me, not that I heard of. He was mature beyond belief and took it all in stride. He fought hard and gained the love and respect of anyone who was blessed to meet him. Today he found out he has multiple rumors in his head and the mets in his lungs have tripled in size and there is nothing left for them to do. The Worl is losing all the good ones, this boy is and will always be a beakon of phenomenal strength and light and the world needs more like him. Pretty sure cancer is Satan's way of taking the choice spirits from us and Heavenly Fathers way of prompting those of us slackers to rise up grow up and make the right decisions. Be honest, be trustworthy, be real, stand for what is right, be ethical, considerate, hard working and kind. Love one another and make the choices that would make a person who's life was cut short proud to know you used your choices freedoms and abilities for the greater good and not for selfish gain, stupid recreation and self promotion. Be what Talia could have been if she weren't robbed of her precious life. Be the Man I know JR would be if cancer didn't steel what was rightfully his to share with the rest of us. Be that sweet amazing kind loving funny and intelligent man that Timothy would have been. Be what God would have you be, be like these amazing sweet heros that are being stolen from us but who would have brought the world so much light and so much closer to God because of the people I saw them be through a trial more unbelievably horrendous than I could ever describe with my ill placed words. I want more from life, and I want more for these amazing kids who are truly people that would have made this world better. If cancer was a person I just don't know that I would have it in me to forgive it, but for everything else....everything else is a choice someone made, being attended is a choice as well. But getting your life stolen by cancer was never a choice any one of these people or sweet kids whose life was ripped apart,whose family was ripped apart, made. If only it were a choice, and reflected as a consequence then maybe the rest of us would be less selfish, more coherent of our own choices and more willing to rise to the challenge of becoming something great even if that means becoming something great in the realms that the world would be disappointed but the Lord would be thrilled with. Can't please both.....can't serve two masters. Choose God or choose to please the World. I choose God, he is the only one who can comfort me through this trial, he is the only one that can give my heart peace. He is the only one who can ease the pain. Relying on anything else will only bring temporary comfort, fleeting and shallow. Choose to be great because you can, choose to be great for all those who no longer have the choice. I can only imagine these ramblings are all over the place but I cannot compose myself enough to think clearly to describe the pure broken hearted feeling I have in loosing these incredible people from this life. Loosing the kind of people the World needs more of and not knowing if we will learn to be better for the loss of them or learn to hate and be angry because of the loss of them. So for Timothy coan, Emily del vechio, tyrese, Brian, Talia, and my sweet sweet buddy JR I wish I could punch cancer in the face for you, I wish I could have taken this all away. I am beyond grateful I was blessed to get you in my life and I will forever hurt for the loss of the world will know because you will no longer be here. I know the Lord has a plan, I know the Lord loves each of these sweet kids I was able to meet and love, and I know that they are each remarkable irreplaceable beakons of what a blessing each day is. What a blessing it is to be able to make choices, make mistakes, and forgive, and love and learn. This is just a small window into how devastating scan week can be. Hopefully Matthew's yields good news and hopefully all these families having to endure so much pain can find peace and feel Gods love. I love you JR and I hold you close to my heart with so much love and respect, and gratitude for getting to be a part of you life. We love you buddy and will be here for you.

 

 

16 Months

Can't believe 16 months ago we welcomed Joella into the world!! This kid keeps us on our toes now that she knows how to walk and run. Running from here to there and trying to get into things that she knows she shouldn't. Then she's off to take something apart, something that we can't do, but she can! One time my mom said she misplaced something and had a hard time remembering where it was. She called my nephew to see if he can bring the baby over so she can find it for her!! Funny!! Joella seems to find things that has been forgotten. These days she's loving the idea that she can chase the dog around the house. The dog belongs to Juella. Since my parents have a large backyard, it's enough to keep the dog happy. But that dog is scared of everything. I call her a 'scaredy-dog' (and I think she likes it!!) Anyway, Joella loves to chase her around and laughs so loud when she touches her.  The last few times she was here with us, we must have tired her out. On her way home, she falls asleep and doesn't even wake up when she gets home. Dogs can be barking, sirens going on and she's fast asleep. One time we had to leave her with her aunt, Juella when something unexpected came up. I thought Juella was going to call us and say the baby is crying and won't stop. But that didn't happen. She enjoyed her time over there but was afraid of Aaron. At one time Juella said that Joella found the car keys and went to the door and said 'good bye.' If she could have opened the door she probably would have made a run for it!! Juella has two cats and Joella had a grand time chasing them around the house. Jim is not one that enjoys anyone touching him so they had to make sure Jim didn't scratch her. 
Other things going on, well, we've been trying to get the rain to fall here but for some reason it just doesn't do it enough. We have gotten some rain but not as much as we would like. Lately it's just been raining up by the mountains. The other night there was a great lightning show around the outskirts of the city. The rain did fall up in the heights but not here in the valley. It's just been hot. Ha! The other day on the radio the DJ said "It's not going to be as hot as it has been. The high today will be 95 degrees!!" What? Not as hot? Where has he been? It's been hovering up in the mid nineties all week long!!!
Nothing else exciting going on so I will end here. Not sure when the next time I will come by. We'll see, huh?